Small Circles.

I have been wondering lately what could be the reason behind the fact that not many people ask me to dance with them in social dancing events. When I think of it, I usually dance only with the few same people. For example, in last Zouk practica I danced only with six leaders during the whole 2,5 hours. Okay right, I also enjoy the most dancing with those few leaders, so should I really be complaining? Still, is it that I look like I don't want to dance with others or what is the thing here?

I think one reason is that others are like me: they like dancing with the same people. If the dance party is big and you have many friends there, there isn't just time left for new dancing connections. If there is a good song coming, you want to dance that with someone who you know you can have an awesome dance. The problem is that when I go to a dance party from where I hardly know anyone, it is easy to feel like an outsider (I feel like this happens in every Salsa party I go to). It doesn't help that I am pretty shy to go and ask someone to dance with me, especially if I haven't been dancing with him before. I read this blog posting the other day about how to make a local dance scene bigger, and one central thing the writer was saying was that you should always dance not only with the experienced dancers you love to dance with, but also with those who are lower level than you are. I feel like some dancers are a bit too picky on their dance company, and I must admit that sometimes I tend to be that kind of dancer too. However, that is not the right way to attract new and potential dancers, or to make some new surprising dance experiences for that matter.

The above said doesn't apply to situations where there is a dancer I have danced with before but he doesn't seem willing to dance with me again. So what if my way of dancing is just something that only few people like? Right, I do think that you cannot have a good dancing connection with everyone - it is just like you cannot get along with everyone outside the dance floor either-  but are people giving up too easy after the first impression? After all, one dance is usually not enough to adapt to the other's dance style. I understand that social dancing events are for having fun but maybe there is a chance of learning something new when dancing with someone the connection doesn't come that naturally. Dancing circles are small, there's no denying it, but would it be that hard to make your own circles bigger?

So after thinking this through I could come to a conclusion that it is me who is keeping my own circles small. Not many leaders ask me to dance with them but then again I'm not really doing that much to change it. I keep on dancing in my comfort zone with the leaders I feel most comfortable dancing with. I think there is nothing wrong with that as long as I keep stepping out from that zone every now and then. Phew, I think I have to start changing my social dancing habits!