What Makes a Good Dancer?

This is one of those posts that I started writing, because I felt like that would clarify my thoughts, but while writing ended  up being more confused. So I let it rest and came back to it. I started the post with a question of "what makes a good dancer?". This topic raised into my mind mostly because I felt like many dancers try to determine who is the best and make tight comparisons between others. I was wondering if there really was a set of criteria that determines whether someone is better dancer than another and if dancers can be put in line as who is the best, the second best etc. Tough questions with no simple answer.  Thus, I'll give it a second try and see how I do this time.

So, can dancers be lined up as their "superiority"?

Yes, might be your answer; isn't that, for example, what the dance competitions are for? However, I don't find it as simple or black-and-white as that, especially when it comes to partner dancing. A good partner dancer for me is - this is how I firstly tried to describe it - someone with who I enjoy dancing with. This doesn't necessarily have to be tied together with the "level" (e.g. beginner, intermediate, advanced) of the dancer - something that would in the first glance be an indication of how good of a dancer that person is. I can highly enjoy dancing with a beginner dancer and regard that person to be in a way "better" than an intermediate or advanced dancer. Sure, it is possible to draw some lines between beginner and intermediate level, but the lines are anyway very broad and fine. Besides, these classifications are not there to point out whether one is a good dancer or not - or can you sincerely say that any beginner dancer can't be a good dancer, or that any advanced dancer is a good one?

Then, is the superiority of dancers a highly subjective thing? In that case, is a good dancer simply someone who many people regard as a good dancer? Or is it just me, disregarding the others, who can make the distinction? What I said before about a good partner dancer being someone with who I enjoy dancing with, that would be exactly the case. But then again, there are definitely dancers who I might not enjoy dancing with, but who I undoubtedly regard as good dancers. So it is not that simple after all, is it! Maybe the most relevant question to ask, then, is that why I regard someone as a good dancer (or why I enjoy dancing with someone for that matter)? Nevertheless, even though there might be some more or less "objective", or rather generally accepted, measures for a good dancer - say, for example, great body control, impressing spinning technique, superior balance, good musicality etc. - I still think that the beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that is, the superiority is just one's opinion. If there are others who agree, then there are several similar opinions.

Generally speaking, I don't like ranking dancers into general categories nor do I like superficially objective discussions of who is the best dancer or comparisons stating that one is better than another. All that is just about opinions and different preferences. I don't see the point of lining up dancers, because I think it creates mostly bad energy. In that sense it is pointless. What I like, though, are discussions about different strengths those dancers possess (or if you wish to be more criticizing or constructive perhaps, weaknesses). This makes it possible for the others to learn from those strengths and it also creates more positive energy. For me it is also fascinating to hear opinions about with who others find it enjoyable to dance with. It is interesting that some followers seem to prefer the same leaders as I do, while others have totally different taste. There are some followers whose opinions I have learned to listen carefully since those usually lead me to great dance experiences with leaders also she enjoyed dancing with. However, this doesn't in any way mean that some of my friends like dancing with bad dancers while others are better off with good dancers. We simply prefer different things. Just as I get along better with some people doesn't mean that they would be better people than those with who I don't get along with as well. Or that just because I prefer apples to oranges would make apples better fruit in general.

Then, if it is me who can decide who is a good dancer and who is not, can I also decide if I am a good dancer or not? Yes, that would be the case, though many times other's opinions seem to play quite a big role in that decision. So, do I see myself as a good dancer? There has been many times others have told me that I am a good dancer, but that is, ultimately, their opinion. So what is truly mine? Well, to start with, the main reason I dance is that I dance for myself. Sure, partner dancing is about giving and receiving, leading and following, so in that sense I dance for the others too. But if I danced just for the others, that is, just to impress them, I would be in a wrong path. Since I have had plenty of amazing dancing experiences, in other words, been very successfully dancing for myself and for the others at the same time, and I also have lots of strengths and good motivation to work on my weaknesses, I do think I am a good dancer. This is not to brag about myself, but simply my opinion. Well then, do I regard myself better than some other dancers? No, I don't want to line up myself nor the others. It is pointless. I'd rather think there are many good dancers than couple superior ones. Everyone have their strengths and weaknesses. That someone else is good is by no means something that is away from me, quite the opposite.

Phew, I don't know if that made my thoughts any more clear. Probably it just made also you confused. Well, I think I have to keep on clarifying my thoughts and to come back to this topic yet again. Or would you have an opinion to share?

Excitement.

I'm excited about this autumn. Excited because there are so many new dancing things happening. First of all, I'm excited about a Zouk group choreography that I'm part of. Actually I was pretty skeptical whether I would be accepted to the performance team in the first place, but there I am and more than happy to be in that position. We had our first practice last week and, wow, it is going to be so cool, I tell you! The performance is already in November so there is going to be hard work ahead of us. A lot of hard work. I love the song, so far love the the choreo and our team is great. So, yes, excited!

Secondly, I'm excited about Argentine Tango. I've had only two classes in Balanssi Studiot with Michaelo, but already falling in love with the dance. So detailed, so delicate, so challenging. I like the way the teachers teach in the studio; it is quite different to other dance classes I've been, but works really well. Even though I feel pretty lost at times, it is not a desperate kind of feeling, but more of enthusiasm to learn something completely new.

Thirdly, I'm excited about West Coast Swing. I'm so happy that I'm able to continue this dance after spending four months learning it in Raw Connection in Brisbane. Our class on Thursday afternoons is pretty crowded, but I like the fact that the teacher nevertheless makes sure that everyone gets something from the class. Last week he grabbed me after the class to go through my stepping technique for he was worried that I wouldn't get enough out from the course that he regards bit too basic for my level. I really appreciate this kind of personal attention some teachers give. And actually this week he kicked me out from the class and moved me to higher level.

Then, I'm excited about another choreography I'm planning to do with Michaelo also in November. We chose the song and the story of the dance couple of days ago and we're going to start building it soon. It is a very strong story so I'm excited to see how we're going to express it.

Next, I'm excited about Zouk ladies styling course that started last Saturday. This is the kind of course I've really been waiting for and I'm sure it will upgrade my dance technique. Plus, I have to give respect to Andressa for making my abs so sore I can't even remember when I had such a nice muscle pain over there!

What else I was excited about... Right, my Voguing classes started this week, yay! And yes, excited about yoga.

Since I didn't have any deeper to say this time, I tried to find some wise related quote to end the post... But I couldn't find something I was really looking for. Nevertheless:

“The end is never as satisfying as the journey. To have achieved everything but to have done so without integrity and excitement is to have achieved nothing.” - Unknown

Re-program Me.

Yesterday, oh my gosh, I had a terrible dance demoralization. I went to the autumn's first Zouk practica and left home, well, annoyed, pissed, sad, frustrated - some words to describe the overwhelming negativity in me. As soon as I got home I wanted to open my blog and publicly declare that I'm done with Zouk all in all. Fortunately as strong as my emotions sometimes get, I am aware that those will, after peaking, calm down. After couple of nice fb messages from dancer friends and a well slept night I am now ready to better examine that peaking. No, I'm not making that initially intended declaration for sure! Rather, I realize that I need to be re-programmed.

A lot of dancing is psychological, a fact that can be easily noticed from yesterday. In the beginning of the practica I felt good and I felt that I danced good. Little by little I started to get this suspicious feeling that the other dancers were judging me in some way; paying attention to my, oh still so many, mistakes in my technique. So I started to pay attention to those and - no surprise here - started to dance badly. The last straw was a dance with my teacher who not even slightly tried to hide that he was testing everything, every single move, on me, whether I was able to get through with those or if I was I a lost case after my six-month dance holiday. After that dance it was just impossible to dance well, follow well or to do anything well for that matter (not even that fake smile that I tried to put on, damn it). Why? Because I thought I couldn't and that restricted my dancing tremendously. If you think you can't dance well, you simply can't.

Those negative feelings I gathered during the evening reminded me some of the feelings I had about dancing six months ago. That I wasn't never good, that I was totally useless if I didn't go forward all the time, that it was my responsibility to improve if I wanted to get, as a prize for that improvement, enjoyment from dancing. And if I didn't see that improvement I got angry at myself. However, all of this negativity is just in my head; none of it is true. A better question is that why I had these kind of feelings again now that I'm back home? I never, ever, had that in Brisbane. The problem is, I think, that I have accidentally somehow programmed my mind to work that way here. So if there is some triggering factor, I easily overreact. As I said, I need to be re-programmed.

Really, there was no-one judging me. No-one except my hardest critic: me.

Dreaming?

Have you ever had a feeling when you wake up and you are like wait, did yesterday really happen? That is pretty much the feeling I'm having now.

Sure, I had my first WCS class yesterday at Comets Rock'n'Roll Dance Club that totally exceeded my expectations, but it is not that. I also, by sudden idea, went dancing to a lovely choir concert, but its not that either. Further, I received positive news that my Zouk practicing is, after all, going to continue this fall, but no, not that...

It is that I had, out of the blue, kind of a private Kizomba party last night. Dancing for hours until late with an amazing Kizomba dancer. Getting to know to this passionate dancer, hearing fascinating dance stories from a perspective of an instructor. Not being even slightly intimidated by the fact that I'm dancing with a dance teacher, as I usually easily am. No thoughts crossing in my mind, except couple of those is-this-really-happening-to-me-suspicions. Music, connection, magic. Unreal.

Or was it just a dream after all...?

Dance Directions.

Lately most of the dance bloggers have been posting their weekly autumn training schedules into their blogs. As I wrote earlier, I feel uneasy about having such fixed schedules, but I guess as a dance blogger this is one of the compulsory posts to make.

So, the last days I've been trying to figure out what is going to happen in my dance life this fall. Most of it has been reasoning that whether I should continue with Zouk or take another direction. On the other hand I would love to improve my Zouk even more and take a step towards to an advanced level, but on the other hand it might be good to give it a rest and try something else. There is of course the financial side of everything and also this influenced to my final decision. So here we go: its time put the dance style I've been dancing so much almost the last two years to a rest and direct my dance passion some other dance styles. Phew.

Now, I know some of you my beloved readers will object, but this doesn't mean that I would give up Zouk totally. I'm already looking forward that the autumn practicas will start rolling and there is no doubt I'd like to go dancing in Zouk parties. I'm also taking Andressa's ladies styling course and going to the Helsinki Zouk festival in November. What this means is that I won't put my objectives into improving constantly or think that I would have to get any better. I'll go forward if it comes naturally and if I don't then I won't stress about it.

So, what next then? Well, I have now signed in for a 12 week Voguing course and 10 week West Coast Swing course (even though I wouldn't like to fix my weeks, but this was almost the only possible and most affordable choice to make). Moreover, I was planning on going to Argentinean Tango every now and then. However, where I would want to put my biggest efforts into would be West Coast. I would like to find a good practice partner to get my technique sorted out and to be able to attend some bigger events with high-level teachers. Let's see how things work out.

I have also been wanting to start doing something for ages now. Something that contributes to dancing as improved strength, balance and flexibility, all of which I really need and want to improve. So now I've finally making it happen. I'm talking about yoga. Last month I had an excellent chance to do yoga outdoors when some of Helsinki's yoga instructors organized free yoga sessions in some of the many parks around the city. This week they opened a pop-up yoga studio called Pranama in the center of Helsinki and I just love the idea behind the studio: they want to make good quality yoga available to everyone by giving people an option to pay as much as they want from the classes. All the profit they make goes straight to the instructors and to their training. This is a place I'm definitely going to go weekly. Yoga has already made me feel a lot better in my body and that is something really important to a dancer: a healthy, strong and flexible body to dance with.

Yoga in the park together with almost 200 people. Photos by Sinebrychoff Park Rangers.

One of the things I want to include into my normal week, however, is enough emptiness. By emptiness I mean unplanning, flexibility, time for anything, spontaneousness, free evenings, random dancing, whatever comes to my mind at that moment. It might sound like I have already booked all of my days with the dance courses, but actually the timing of the classes enable me to have quite a lot of nothing for every day. If someone suddenly asks me to, say, have a dance practice or just to catch up maybe, I want to be able to make it happen if not the same day then the next. Being too busy is not good for me.

Kizomba Trance.

One reason why I love being back in Helsinki is Kizomba. Many people say that they don't get the idea behind the dance, but I seem to get more and more addicted to this dance style after each Kizomba party I go to. One of those happened last evening in bar Pacifico and it has been a while since I danced my feet as sore as I did there. It was great spending the whole party in the dance floor without having to ask anyone to dance with me. Call me an attention-seeker, but it just gives somehow good feeling for me. Helsinki Kizomba scene had the pleasure of having a Kizomba DJ from France in the party who turned out to be a great dancer too. I found a strong connection with him and we had quite a few dances together.

This led me to the following reflection. As some of you might know, I often end up dancing with only few dancers in Kizomba parties, but I dance quite a long time with them. I feel like one or two songs are not enough to find a good Kizomba connection and if I find a strong connection with someone I can easily lose the sense of time while dancing. I call this a Kizomba trance. But how many songs in a row is too much? Is it against the social dancing etiquette to "reserve" someone for yourself for a long period of time? Yes, many would say: social dancing is about giving everyone a chance to dance with everyone. So after a while, say five to ten songs in a row, I start to feel getting angry looks from the other ladies. But then again, it is not just me who decides the dancing to continue. The leader could at any point let go of me and go dancing with someone else. It is not that I'm forcing him to dance with me, no, it is he who wants continue. Right, it is rarely me who takes the first step to end our dancing, but am I still to be blamed? At some level I feel that it is part of the leader's role to do anyway. Not ending the dance is also kind of my way of saying I liked dancing with you. And yes, it is not just him who wants to keep on going.

I had this feeling also yesterday. After trying to leave the party but being brought back by one of my regular Kizomba leads, I went to the Kizomba trance with the visiting DJ and danced with him until the music stopped. We had a short chat about this topic after dancing. Later he send me a message saying that if the party had not stop he could have danced with me an hour or so more, but added humorously that in that case the other girls would have killed me.

So what should I do? Ignore all the angry ladies and label myself as being the irritating and selfish girl who steals all the best dancers (wow, that sounded supercilious - didn't mean it that way but you know what I mean)? Maybe not the wisest thing to do. I do understand their point of view: also I find it sometimes irritating if I can't dance with someone because he is too busy with other ladies. However, I want my Kizomba trances to happen. What if I make sure the others have had chances to dance with the leader before I steal him for myself, would that suffice?

Living From a Calendar.

One thing that many people seem to do in Finland is living their lives out from a calendar. There is always so much to do and so many people to see that there is not enough time for anything or anyone. Everything needs to be scheduled to make the most out of the little time there is. If you want to catch up with someone, it has to be agreed well in advance so both can reserve the time from their over-booked calendars. If you want time for yourself, you have to plan that or otherwise there is no time. Right, I might be exaggerating, but this is not too far away from the reality. And don't get me wrong, I used to be exactly like that too. It is so easy to get addicted being busy.

What I loved about Australians was that they lived their lives without such calendars. People were always up for something spontaneous and it was easy to make some plans in a short period of time. A big dinner with friends could be organized in just a few days warning. There was always someone available if I wanted some company. I didn't have to plan my life to be able to do what I enjoyed doing. I didn't have to have a calendar to be able to catch up with my friends. I never had to plan my weekends beforehand, yet I always ended up doing lots. Sure, my normal week included many dance classes, but nothing was fixed: if I felt like skipping one, I wasn't left behind nor did I suffer money-wise.

Now I feel that I don't want to go back to the calendar-centered life. I want to be able to be spontaneous and not the kind of person who never has time. But on the other had I feel like my surroundings are driving me into the opposite direction. If I want to see my friends I have to reserve the time from my calendar or otherwise I won't fit into my friends' calendars. If I want to take dance classes I have to commit to a certain weekday for the next four or five months. If there was more than one class per week, it would mean as many days already planned and scheduled. I would have to know now, since all the dance courses are starting, whether I would like to spend the next who knows how many Tuesdays (or whatever the weekday might be) in a row in that dance class. But I don't want to give up dance classes completely either. Tricky, isn't it?

Now that I have actually had time to do anything - or nothing for that matter - I have found out that it was useless to run away for something. Being busy might give a feeling that I'm living my life the fullest, but getting rid of that rush has enabled me to find an inner happiness inside me that seems to be somehow deeper than the more superficial happy feelings I might otherwise get. I do what I want exactly in that moment, not what I had planned previously.

Sure, if I have written "dancing" into my calendar, there is a huge probability that I will want to be doing exactly that when the day comes. I just feel anxious about the thought of having fixed weeks. Nevertheless, the dance courses are starting from the next week onwards, so I have to make some decisions soon. Maybe it is then just a matter of how many fixed days I'm willing to have in my upcoming weeks?