Dancing – a Dangerous Addiction?

The other day I was asked about something that made me think about my relationship with dancing. My answer to a question, that whether I knew my passion for dancing was something above normal, was obvious: of course I was aware of that. For many dancers dancing is just a nice way of spending time every now and then and they wouldn’t put that much time and effort into it than what I do. I think of dancing as something more than a hobby; it is more like a lifestyle, as I have also written here before. Surely, for an average dancer putting as much time to dancing as I do in weekly basis is above normal.

But had I ever thought that my passion for dancing would be so extreme that it would actually go above the limit of being healthy – no, never even crossed my mind. When put in this way it even sounds like a horrible accusation towards something as dear to me as dancing is. How could dancing be unhealthy?! No, of course it is not unhealthy, I responded furiously, surprisingly feeling somehow offended about the question. It is exactly the opposite, I continued and ended the discussion.

Regardless my stiff response the question made me think later on. After all, as I have said many times, I am a dance addict, truly addicted to dancing. Is it really a good thing to be addicted to anything, let it be dancing? Could there be a chance that my relationship with dancing was unhealthy at some level, or could develop into that?

 

I’m the kind of person who likes to put in 100 percent of myself. When I’m in, I’m in. When I think about my previous hobbies I have always had some sort of a main hobby that has taken over most of my free time. I haven’t had many different hobbies and those that I have chosen have been with me many years. This shows that I like to put my concentration into something and to develop myself in that area, and also that I’m willing to work on those areas consistently and patiently. It is also that when I find something that I really like doing, something that could be my thing, I want to put all my effort into it.

This is what happened with me and dancing: I quickly came to realize that it definitely could be my thing and soon I noticed I had given up the other my things that used to take up my free time… And that is the way it has been since! The other hobbies I have now (do I have any of those…?) became part of my life because I saw them as something that could support my dancing. There is no doubt dancing is a central part of my life and that my life would seem quite empty without it, taken into account that also my social circles are nowadays considerably made up of, who else but, dancers.

But maybe it is not only about how much time I put into dancing, it must also be about how I think about dancing. Do I put dancing above everything else in my life? Do I feel a compulsion to dance? If a behavioral addiction is defined to cause negative consequences to physical, mental, social and/or financial well-being, does dancing cause that to me?

These are definitely not easy questions with any straightforward answers just because dancing is so huge thing for me. I must say that I put dancing above many things in my life – maybe sometimes even into too high priority. For example, it has to be quite exceptional circumstances for me to skip my dance class, and if there is a nice dance party going on in the city I’m glad to skip any other evening gathering for that. Also, I do start to miss dancing if I don’t do it for a while, let’s say, a couple of weeks – does this tell that I have a compulsion or that I just regularly want to do something that I like doing?

 

What about those negative consequences? What comes to physical, I must say that dancing has actually increased my heath and has proved to be a good and healthy way of exercise for me. Before I was exercising too intensively and causing too much stress to my body and thus I got ill multiple times per year. Since I started dancing I have been considerable less sick and been feeling a lot better in general. What comes to social consequences, dancing has yet again affected to my social life in a positive way: it is such a nice and easy way to get to know to new people constantly. Partner dancing is a social dance and the social aspect of it makes it so enjoyable. What about my financial well-being? Yes, dancing takes up money but not that radically it would become a problem; when I have been low in cash I have just found more affordable classes and concentrated on social dancing. The most difficult aspect to consider would then be the mental side. Even thinking what would be a negative mental consequence is a hard task. That I develop a need to dance? That I will get into a bad mood if I don’t get to dance? Also, everything affects to everything so it would be hard to predict some possible outcomes. But that dancing would really mess up my mind – I doubt there is a big chance to that. To sum up the above: not big needs to be worried.

Still, I’m not denying that there is something very addictive in dancing. Smokers usually say that they could stop smoking if they wanted to but they just don’t want to. To be honest, I don’t know if I could stop dancing even if I wanted to. It is so integrated into my life and my way of thinking. And I simply don’t want to. It is the my thing. However, I think that some (positive) addictions can be accepted. So I’ll let dancing be the one for me.

Partner Dancing to the Power of Two.

For me partner dancing is, at its best, a conversation. A conversation between the leader and the follower about the interpretation of the music. By this I mean a true conversation into which both of the dancers can and will contribute to: a conversation which direction can be influenced by either one. It is true that the leader has to lead and the follower has to follow, that is the way partner dancing works, but it doesn’t mean that the leader wouldn’t need to follow or that the follower should turn into a passive ‘doll’ leaving the whole interpretation to the leader.

I’m not talking about ladies’ styling or men’s styling here. This styling is supposed to be done in a way that it doesn’t affect the outcome of the movement/figure the leader chooses to lead. Sure, styling can be a big part of the interpretation of the music, but the thing is that it doesn’t necessarily create conversation, simply because of the previously mentioned: ideally the follower can do her styling without interfering the lead and the leader doesn’t have to change the lead without interfering the follower’s styling. Thus, the trick to ladies styling is to find the small spots where the follower has freedom to interpret the music by herself.

This topic came into my mind when we were practicing dynamic dancing in our Zouk class the other day. The challenge for the followers in the exercise was to sense the change of energy and speed of the lead and to react to the change accordingly. It goes without a saying that this is an important skill for the follower (as well as the skill to change and play with the dynamics is for the leader). However, what I was missing in the exercise was the follower’s possibility to influence the dynamics of the dance: a possibility to step out of being a (yet responsive but) passive doll and to take part of the conversation. So I brought up whether I could suggest the leader for something I was hearing from the music, say, more energetic movement, an accent or a soft stretch for example.

I used the word suggest because taking part of the conversation doesn’t mean that I want to take over the lead. I still want that the leader is leading the conversation but I don’t want him to control it so that I won’t be able to say anything. Doing ladies styling in those tiny spots of freedom is not suggesting either because those are done exactly in those moments of independency. By suggesting I mean doing something that the leader, if he is listening to the follower, can sense as an input or influence to the conversation, and by which the movement develops to something different that the leader originally had in his mind.

Conversation in partner dancing is therefore kind of an endless series of counter-reactions. The leader leads something and the follower reacts. This is nothing new. But then if the leader, instead of yet again leading something and the follower reacting (and repeating this the whole dance through), in his turn counter-reacts to the reaction of the follower, the door for conversation opens. The leader’s counter-reaction is not giving up leading but rather giving up the control to determine totally in advance what is going to happen next. Maybe the follower reacted in a bit different way that the leader expected, but instead of going ‘oh now my next move got messed up because she couldn’t follow my lead’ he would try to explore what this unexpectancy could offer, thus to react to the follower’s reaction. Some might call it plan B (and/or plan C etc.) of the next movement but this is not exactly what I’m looking after here because even in this case the leader has made up a plan before the actual movement. The counter-reaction is rather something that comes up naturally or instinctually from the movement in hand. This obviously requires quite advanced level of leading and an ability to step out from the pre-determined set of figures.

So what is the point of creating this conversation? Isn’t partner dancing about leading and following, about the leader controlling the movements? Well, have you ever had this experience where you haven’t been 100 percent sure who was leading the dance even though there was clearly a leader and follower dancing? I by no means mean a situation where the follower is not following and is taking over the lead, but a situation where the couple is dancing synchronized together, counter-reacting to each other’s movements. Usually both come out of the situation confused feeling that yes something unusual happened but they don’t know what or how – it just happened. Movements that either one had never done before, movements that just flew together. This I would call partner dancing to the power of two.

From a follower’s perspective, this conversation gives me the opportunity to get involved and to use more my musicality. It gives me the opportunity to be something more than a doll to be danced around with. I love playing around with the music and thus I enjoy dancing with someone who also listens to me while I'm listening to him. In this way I feel like me and my partner are even better connected, forming together one body instead of two, because both are listening and telling the common story. In this way, either one will never know what will happen, except that it will be something magical.