Yet another year has passed in my life. This year my birthday weekend was made of three great dance nights with many amazing dances, a win in a dance competition, performing a Zouk choreo, birthday brunch with dancer friends, good work-outs, surprise flower delivery, lazy mornings, wonderful Australian birthday-dinner, legendary AFL match, and much more.
Photos by Alex James Jackson and Min Wye Chan. Video by Alex James Jackson.
Going back to the stage with our Zouk choreography was again an exciting experience. It has been five months since last time we did the choreo with Michaelo and it was great to notice how much both of us have been going forward with our dancing. It was so much easier to get the flowy feeling we were trying to achieve last time. Even though during the performance I felt like my technique was failing pretty badly (especially because I couldn't spin in the sticky floor), it didn't really show that much outside and I was happy to the extent I was able to bring my real emotions into my performance. Showing genuine emotions in a dance performance is apparently something new here. Some in the audience were quite confused seeing me cry, but many came to tell me how much our emotions touched them.
I think there are two sides in performing: the technique and the
feelings. If one of those are missing, its only half way there. Many dance performances are about showing some cool and exciting moves, tricks or lifts. Those are sometimes impressive to watch, but the best and most inspiring performances are about telling a story and making the audience feel something. Those are the kind of performances that give me the chills and reach my heart. I couldn't imagine myself performing a choreo that was emotionally 'flat'. In every performance I want not only to act the emotions, but really feel and live them through. I smile because I feel the happiest person in the world, and I cry because I feel heart-broken. I don't like putting on a fake smile nor can I force myself cry. The extreme emotions are one of the best, though sometimes the toughest, things in performing.
One dancer told me the other day that it is not Brisbane dance scene that has spoiled me, as I wrote in my previous post, but that I have spoiled the dance scene here. I know that I dance differently, more open, with my feelings and emotions attached, and that is not something dancers usually do here in social dancing. It would be amazing if I was able to leave some kind of influence here; that dancing is something more than figures and moves. On top of technique and rules, dancing is about connection and feelings, and this goes to dancing socially as well in the stage.
Last night was a thrill. Kadu and Larissa organized an Ilha do Zouk warm up party at Rio Rhythmics and they had a small Zouk improvisation competition there, which I took part with Michaelo. And can you believe that we won! Unbelievable, my third competition in a row that I came first. Funnily, we got a six week Zouk course as a prize, but we both are leaving before it even starts. Hopefully we'll be able to change that for couple of privates. Anyway, here is short video from the finals:
It is not about winning competitions though. I don't feel like being any better dancer because of those, nor do I take part to win. It is the feeling when I share my dance not only with my partner but also with the cheering audience. My blood fills with adrenaline and I can feel it going all the way to my toes and fingertips. It tingles. My steps become shaky and I have to fight to keep my movements calm. My attention seems to be naturally drawn into that physical reaction, but that is not what I want. I want to feel my partner's reactions, hear the cheers, listen what emotions the music raises in me, and not let that adrenaline boost ruin my whole dance technique. It seems that it is with Michaelo when I get my biggest boosts. Our feelings and emotions give strength to each other, they are strongly connected.
Having Michaelo here has meant lots of discussions about dancing. What is my motivation to dance? How do I want to grow as a dancer? What do I want to do with dancing? Is my desire to perform? To teach some day maybe? To compete? All I can say that I don't know what I will want from dancing in the future; I might want something else what I want now. At the moment the most important thing is to enjoy dancing with my whole heart. I do want to improve and by practicing remove any obstacles that limit my abilities to dance and get those magical dancing moments. I realize that removing the obstacles is a never-ending journey, but it is a journey of joy. I don't dance to show-off or to impress, nor would I like to teach dancing to boost my dance ego. It all comes down to enjoyment, happiness and overwhelming feelings.
Everyone knows the saying: dance like no one is watching. Even though I believe that dancing isn't something to hide and that sharing and showing the passion to everyone else gives so much more than keeping it to oneself, there is some wisdom behind the saying. When observed outside, dancing is very visual form of expression. Most of the times dance practices or classes concentrate on how you look when dancing and how you should change your movement, posture, hand positions, technique, patterns and so on, to look better. Sometimes the practices center around dance connection, but it is only rarely when the concentration is on how you feel. For many dancers it would many times be good to dance like no one was watching to change the concentration from looks into feelings.
For me dancing is all about feelings. It is not that I wouldn't want to look good when I dance - especially when dancing in front of an audience I most definitely want to look good - but it is more that I don't want my body to be an obstacle of making the dance beautiful and graceful, or maybe ugly if that is what the music is telling. But if looking good becomes my main reason to dance, I'm going into a wrong direction. If someone tells me she or he likes the way I look in the dance floor, I am delighted, but
a comment that someone loves to watch me in the dance floor because it
shows how much I enjoy and love dancing really makes my day.
The biggest connection between you and your dance partner can be between your hearts. If there are no feelings, what is left?
So Michaelo came and changed my daily routines totally. As you might guess, my daily-life now consists even more dancing. I want
to take Michaelo out dancing as much as I can and have daily dancing
practices with him, but also keep up with West Coast, seeing my friends and
skyping with my love. At the same time I have been trying to prep for my
finals, and give as much time as possible to Michaelo. Phew, not much
extra time to spare to write here! Anyway, what a true dancing partner Michaelo is, traveling all the way here for me. It has been so amazing to start every day with a morning Zouk practice and sometimes even ending the day with some more dancing in our living room. He has also made me realize how much I have been missing dancing Kizomba. How much I've missed him, our dance connection and our friendship.
The feedback from my Zouk dancing has been much needed, but tough: I have developed some horrible bad habits here. It has been time to come back to reality from my careless dancing days and work on my dance technique. I have quite many things I need to work on, and the worst thing about bad habits is that they are hard to get rid of. However, the most important thing is that now all those small details have caught my attention and it is just matter of time and practice to get them to my muscle memory.
When it comes to the dance technique, it is sometimes hard to make a distinction between times when to be strict and critical on yourself, compared to times when you just have to let everything go, forget about worrying the right technique and simply enjoy dancing. If you are never critical, you'll never get better. If you can never let go, you can never truly enjoy dancing. Now that all those small details are going wild in my head, I've found them reminding of themselves even when it is time for me to enjoy. I wish it would be easier to give up those thoughts. The technique I have at that very moment is something I shouldn't really work on in dance parties - that is what the practices are for. I don't want to lose the amazing and relaxed feeling I have found while social dancing in Australia. I dance the best when I'm not thinking, so please save your presence to the dance practices you critical thoughts of mine!
There has been couple of pretty cool dance things happened I want to share with you. Firstly, last Sunday at Casablanca's Salsa Seduction, I accidentally won a dance show-off! The thing was to dance one minute of each Salsa, Bachata and Zouk with someone, and since I'm always open for cool new things, I grabbed the nearest familiar leader and jumped in. The judges chose two couples to the finale on the criteria that who had the most fun in the dance floor, and the finals were judged by the audience. This was difinitely one of those times where I successfully 'forgot' my dance technique. Evidently, I had fun!
Secondly, and more importantly, I had my first dance teaching experience when Michaelo and I gave a Kizomba class at my friend's dance party this Saturday. It was something that I really loved, especially seeing how the atmosphere turned from somehow awkward and tense into this relaxed and intimate warm embrace. Seeing those genuine smiles on everyone's faces was simply heart-warming. It shows that everybody really enjoyed the class and that we were able to convince most of them how beautiful and sensual dance Kizomba can be. Since far in Brisbane Kizomba has just been series of steps and figures, but we successfully showed that Kizomba is something more - a strong connection between the two. We already planned for a next session which I'm looking forward to. Sharing that Kizomba love is wonderful.
Photos by Darren Reddacliff and Michael Don
You know the feeling when watching a good dance teacher couple and you go: oh wow, what a connection, I wish I was able to dance like that with someone! That Kizomba night I realized others watching me and Michaelo in that way. One might think it could have made me feel high and mighty, but no, it made me realize, once again, how lucky I am to have someone with who I have such a strong dance connection.
I have only less than two months to go in Brisbane. That is a scary thought. I'm afraid of going back, because I've gotten spoiled. Spoiled of having as much social dancing as I want to do. Spoiled of having great dancers and friends around me all the time. Spoiled of feeling like a special and great dancer. Spoiled of being able to enjoy dancing the most.
If there is only one big dance party during the weekend, I get irritated. If I don't get couple of wow-factoring dances during any dance party, I am surprised. If I don't see my dancer friends for a week, I feel strange. My life is so full of dancing, and I love it. My roommate asked me one day: 'Do you really dance every day?' I went: 'Well, I have classes only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And wait, Mondays I go Popping. Oh, and Wednesday Hiphop. Then there's the dancing parties at least every Friday and Sunday, and occasionally on Saturdays. Right, so that would count as a yes!'
I can't say that I have been feeling home sick since I got here. I've missed my friends, but they are still reachable with Facebook and Skype. I've missed a bigger wardrobe, but somehow always managed to combine my small selection of clothes to fit every occasion. I have missed getting around easily, but most of the time there is someone nice to give me a ride home after dancing. Therefore, I can't really say that I'm looking forward going back. If I didn't have the special someone waiting for me in Helsinki, I just might apply for working holiday visa and stay an extra year.
Okay I admit, there are some things that I do miss. I hugely miss dancing Kizomba. I miss having proper one-on-one dance practices. I miss dancing with specific dancers. I miss the amazing European dance festival culture. I miss good Bachata dances. I miss dance practices with mirrors. I miss cloakrooms where to leave my valuables while I disappear to the dance floor for the night. I miss long dance parties that last till late.
The last two months are going to be different. I have two amazing friends and my family coming over, and I'll be done with my studies here in few weeks time. I feel privileged to have friends that will travel literally to the opposite side of the world to see me, although it will be exciting to see how I can be the perfect host my friends deserve and still keep on with my spoiling dancing life.
Note to self: two intense dance weekends in a row might be pretty hard for your body! I felt like a dance junkie on Sunday evening when waking up after seriously needed three hour afternoon nap, feeling absolutely horrible, but still crawling out from the bed and getting ready for Casablanca's Sunday dancing - the final party for DouDouLe.
There is one wonderful person living in Brisbane who is passionate about building the Latin dance scene here, and he is the man behind last weekend's DouDouLe Latin Dance Camp. I have high respect to those people who do these kind of things and work really hard to make dance events to happen. Therefore I'd like to express my highest thanks for Jean-Luc for organizing an amazing weekend of dance.
The idea behind DouDouLe is to bring different dance schools together under the same roof to share their love to dancing. The workshops included huge variety of dance styles: Salsa, Zouk, Bachata, Kizomba, Samba, Reggeaton, Tango, Samba de Gafieira and ChaCha. I'm proud to say that I went to my first ever Salsa class during the weekend! (Result: nah, still not the dance for me.) Other than that I mostly wandered between the Zouk workshops, but attended as a leader. Maybe I should have taken advantage the variety and tried something new, but how could have I missed Kadu&Larissa's or Alisson&Audrey's classes?
I love this shot; my first great leader picture!
However, when organizing any event, you cannot please everyone, and when there is so many different people, it is simply impossible. Don't take me wrong, I had heaps of fun during the weekend, but for me there was something crucial missing. I go to dance events to dance as much as I can with as many people as I can. I like learning new things in workshops, but it is the dance parties that I'm the most excited about. The best memories from every dance event are from the dance floor. The parties are the places where I can be blown away with amazing dances and unexpected dance connections. What didn't work for me in DouDouLe was that it didn't give me enough opportunities to create those precious memories. Too much time was used for dance performances and other entertainment. Few dance performances are nice to watch, but not more than ten in a night, especially when you are surrounded by people you are craving to dance with. People with who you might not have an opportunity to dance with after that night.
I loved the idea of bringing different dancers and dance styles together. However, I think this concept would have worked better if those dance styles included only partner style of dances. After watching the performances for hours and waiting the party to get started, I was more than happy to finally get to the dance floor. Shortly after getting into the dance mood, however, my long-waited party was interrupted by a group of Samba musicians who successfully made the Samba girls crazy, but left the ones who were there for partner dancing to wait for a 'proper' music to kick back in. When it finally did, most of the dancers who I was hoping to dance with had disappeared or gotten themselves drunk. It is not that I regard partner dancing better than solo dancing, but that is what I went there to do. If I wanted to party dance solo, I could go to a night club. I want to highlight that this is what I felt, and that I don't want to underestimate the hard work everybody had put into the weekend.
That said, the weekend was definitely worth going to. The atmosphere was so warm and welcoming, maybe because it was a closed area where everybody stayed the whole weekend. I was finally able to dance with Alisson, a Zouk teacher from Perth, had the best Kizomba dances in Australia with a dancer from Melbourne, and experienced couple of other strong dance connections. It is amazing feeling when you start to dance with someone and you feel like being one with the other. It is like every inch of you were synchronized. It feels so good. On top of that, I was surrounded the whole weekend by all my wonderful friends I have met while dancing in Brisbane. With that setting, how couldn't I feel like a top of the world?
If I would like to compare the two dance weekends, the best of Swingsation was that I learned so much, but in DouDouLe I felt more like being united and sharing my passion to dance with my friends. DouDouLe was a relaxed and fun event with open-minded and friendly people, all connected by a big heart for dancing. Thank you everybody for making me feel so happy and loved during the weekend.
