Living From a Calendar.

One thing that many people seem to do in Finland is living their lives out from a calendar. There is always so much to do and so many people to see that there is not enough time for anything or anyone. Everything needs to be scheduled to make the most out of the little time there is. If you want to catch up with someone, it has to be agreed well in advance so both can reserve the time from their over-booked calendars. If you want time for yourself, you have to plan that or otherwise there is no time. Right, I might be exaggerating, but this is not too far away from the reality. And don't get me wrong, I used to be exactly like that too. It is so easy to get addicted being busy.

What I loved about Australians was that they lived their lives without such calendars. People were always up for something spontaneous and it was easy to make some plans in a short period of time. A big dinner with friends could be organized in just a few days warning. There was always someone available if I wanted some company. I didn't have to plan my life to be able to do what I enjoyed doing. I didn't have to have a calendar to be able to catch up with my friends. I never had to plan my weekends beforehand, yet I always ended up doing lots. Sure, my normal week included many dance classes, but nothing was fixed: if I felt like skipping one, I wasn't left behind nor did I suffer money-wise.

Now I feel that I don't want to go back to the calendar-centered life. I want to be able to be spontaneous and not the kind of person who never has time. But on the other had I feel like my surroundings are driving me into the opposite direction. If I want to see my friends I have to reserve the time from my calendar or otherwise I won't fit into my friends' calendars. If I want to take dance classes I have to commit to a certain weekday for the next four or five months. If there was more than one class per week, it would mean as many days already planned and scheduled. I would have to know now, since all the dance courses are starting, whether I would like to spend the next who knows how many Tuesdays (or whatever the weekday might be) in a row in that dance class. But I don't want to give up dance classes completely either. Tricky, isn't it?

Now that I have actually had time to do anything - or nothing for that matter - I have found out that it was useless to run away for something. Being busy might give a feeling that I'm living my life the fullest, but getting rid of that rush has enabled me to find an inner happiness inside me that seems to be somehow deeper than the more superficial happy feelings I might otherwise get. I do what I want exactly in that moment, not what I had planned previously.

Sure, if I have written "dancing" into my calendar, there is a huge probability that I will want to be doing exactly that when the day comes. I just feel anxious about the thought of having fixed weeks. Nevertheless, the dance courses are starting from the next week onwards, so I have to make some decisions soon. Maybe it is then just a matter of how many fixed days I'm willing to have in my upcoming weeks?