Kizomba Trance.

One reason why I love being back in Helsinki is Kizomba. Many people say that they don't get the idea behind the dance, but I seem to get more and more addicted to this dance style after each Kizomba party I go to. One of those happened last evening in bar Pacifico and it has been a while since I danced my feet as sore as I did there. It was great spending the whole party in the dance floor without having to ask anyone to dance with me. Call me an attention-seeker, but it just gives somehow good feeling for me. Helsinki Kizomba scene had the pleasure of having a Kizomba DJ from France in the party who turned out to be a great dancer too. I found a strong connection with him and we had quite a few dances together.

This led me to the following reflection. As some of you might know, I often end up dancing with only few dancers in Kizomba parties, but I dance quite a long time with them. I feel like one or two songs are not enough to find a good Kizomba connection and if I find a strong connection with someone I can easily lose the sense of time while dancing. I call this a Kizomba trance. But how many songs in a row is too much? Is it against the social dancing etiquette to "reserve" someone for yourself for a long period of time? Yes, many would say: social dancing is about giving everyone a chance to dance with everyone. So after a while, say five to ten songs in a row, I start to feel getting angry looks from the other ladies. But then again, it is not just me who decides the dancing to continue. The leader could at any point let go of me and go dancing with someone else. It is not that I'm forcing him to dance with me, no, it is he who wants continue. Right, it is rarely me who takes the first step to end our dancing, but am I still to be blamed? At some level I feel that it is part of the leader's role to do anyway. Not ending the dance is also kind of my way of saying I liked dancing with you. And yes, it is not just him who wants to keep on going.

I had this feeling also yesterday. After trying to leave the party but being brought back by one of my regular Kizomba leads, I went to the Kizomba trance with the visiting DJ and danced with him until the music stopped. We had a short chat about this topic after dancing. Later he send me a message saying that if the party had not stop he could have danced with me an hour or so more, but added humorously that in that case the other girls would have killed me.

So what should I do? Ignore all the angry ladies and label myself as being the irritating and selfish girl who steals all the best dancers (wow, that sounded supercilious - didn't mean it that way but you know what I mean)? Maybe not the wisest thing to do. I do understand their point of view: also I find it sometimes irritating if I can't dance with someone because he is too busy with other ladies. However, I want my Kizomba trances to happen. What if I make sure the others have had chances to dance with the leader before I steal him for myself, would that suffice?