Never Say Goodbye.

I sit in the Sydney airport waiting for my connection flight. Everything feels unreal. My body is tired after a way too short and restless night, but that is nothing compared to my emotional exhaustion. I have been avoiding to think the inevitable. All I wanted from my last days was happiness, laughter and smiles. No tears, no goodbyes, no sad moments, I told to everyone, including myself. There were moments I felt the sadness reaching me, but I pushed it away. I didn't start packing before the last minute possible; it felt like too concrete and scary thing to do.

But now it is time to admit that I am leaving.

There are not many things I hate, but I do hate goodbyes. I feel extremely sad leaving Brisbane, though at the same time I feel happy to feel sad: it means the time I spent there was worth every moment. Still, I can't help the overwhelming feelings from taking over me. My heart simply feels so heavy and I can constantly feel my tears trying to push through. The problem with happiness is that you get addicted and just want to have more. I want to stay. I want to keep my life as it is now. But life changes constantly and this is just one of my turning point. At the moment, yes, it hurts, but eventually good things won't hurt but rather make your life more meaningful.

My last weeks in Brisbane were simply amazing. I felt like I got to know some people a lot better in a short period of time. I met new amazing people. I had who knows how many farewell parties! I had my farewell dances in Rio's and Casa's. I went to new places and started to see the city in a different light. I spend lots of time with my friends and danced as much as I could. I lived every moment even more intensively. It was a perfect ending for my six month trip.

Leaving doesn't mean forgetting. Leaving doesn't mean losing the memories. Leaving doesn't mean goodbye. That is why I won't say goodbye. I will be back.

During my last few days I got huge amount of messages from my Brissy friends and I'd like to share some parts of them here:

"I remember the first couple of dances I had with you, a short journey of discovery. I in so many ways felt like a little child with a new toy... I explored new fields of connection, I had found someone to engage on the dance floor in a way I had never encountered before."

"You are our dream that none of us will forget. Thank you very much for being like a breath of fresh air."

"You have been like a ray of sunshine to the dancing scene in Brisbane. It has been pleasure to watch you dance and also be part of a little community of people you have brought together since you have been here - that quality you have, your beautiful personality as well as your beautiful dancing is what we will all miss the most."

"I think you are an amazing person and I love your smile and authenticity. You are definitely one of my favorite dancers to dance with."

"It was always a pleasure to watch you dance; the way you express yourself through dancing is highly inspiring. As a matter of fact, I will never forget how you danced with me on my birthday dance. We should have more of us like you!"

"My favorite memory of you is you and dancing! Watching you dance, dancing with you, every move you've taught me, every time you've done a steal with me! Your passion is infectious and your ability is astonishing."

"I think I've been to about five times more parties in the last couple of months than I usually do thanks to you!"

"It was great meeting you and thanks for the awesome dance inspiration and lessons - you really did play a big role in getting me hooked."

"Every dance [with you] is an adventure not everybody makes it our alike!"

"When I started dancing with you the first thing I thought was how easy it was to dance with you. Perhaps this was because you are such a great dancer, one of the best I've ever danced with, but beyond that I think it's because we feel things in a similar way."

"A big part of me just wants you to stay!"

I would like to thank you everybody from the bottom of my heart for your overwhelming words and for making my journey unforgettable. I don't have to mention names; you know that I'm talking about you.

Thank you so much.