It feels like the year has passed by really quickly (I wonder if the time is just accelerating its speed each year you grow older…?), but my journey during it has clearly left its marks on me. I feel stronger, more self-aware and awake. I have learned to view things in more positive way and to wander the beauty and wonders of my surroundings. I have learned to love, respect and listen to myself more. I have learned to give everything of me and to let go. I have learned to see my self-centralism and my self-serving needs. I graduated from law school and started my professional career. I went through two difficult endings. I got myself a place to call home. In the end of all of this, I’m proud to say that I have grown into a better version of myself.
Still, after this tough but amazing journey I feel somehow lost. Now it is time to find my path for my next adventure.
Dance-wise my year has taught me a lot. I decided to concentrate on my primary dance style and that decision has borne its fruit. I have been obediently attending to my Zouk classes three nights per week, paying closely attention to the slightest details and minor variations. In consequence I have taken a big step forward and been given some unforgettable opportunities to show what I’ve got. Yet, there is lots of potential in me to go further and I’m eagerly looking forward next year’s challenges to come.
One year ago I wrote that I want to learn to “think more positively of everything”. In relation to dancing I especially didn’t “want to find myself in the situation where I would put myself down because I don't improve, because I'm not as good as I wanted to be or because sometimes my body just doesn't behave the way I wanted to”. I’m now happy to realize that even though I have been concentrating to improve my dance technique, I haven’t gone into this negative mind-setting where I have been many times before. Even though my dancing has been focused on learning more than having fun in dance parties, I have been able to keep the joy of dancing present in my practices. This is something I definitely want to take with me from this year.
What am I looking from the new year then? Firstly, I’m hoping to find a dance partner since this year was the first without one. I have been doing well on my own but I feel like something is missing. A dance partner is someone with who I can share my passion with, dream together, have common goals and improve with. Partner dancing is something to do with someone, with a partner, so that is something what I wish for. Secondly, I’m going to work with my balance and body control. One way of doing this is starting some sort of partner acrobatics with a dancer friend of mine. I’m also going to continue my yoga journey towards more stability demanding asanas and hand balances.
Thirdly, I’m going to concentrate more of my energy to love. Yes, you read that right, love. I want to learn to love more – of everything. I’m not talking (only) about romantic kind of love here. I want to love myself more. I want to love my friends more. I want to love my family more. I want to love more of the things I do. I want to love life more. I want to think of dancing more like spreading around universal love: partner dancing can be like giving love to your partner; taking care of him (or her), giving all of your concentration to him, enjoying the dance to the fullest with him, channeling your positive energies to him and making him feel good about your connection. Yes, I want to love more the dancers I dance with.
I want to fall in love with every single dance I dance through the year to come.
One thing is for sure: I will start my year 2015 with a proper cleaning of myself – physically and mentally – for getting the best possible kick off for my new journey. I wish you all happy New Year and new exciting adventures to come!
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