Thank you for your long email message the other day. Not only did the things you wrote made me feel extremely delighted but you also sparked off good thoughts about dancing within me. Your description of me when I dance (and especially when I dance with you) was so beautiful that I had to keep on going back to it again and again. I never thought that our dancing made such a big impact on you nor did I know how much it made you reflect. I also really enjoyed reading the stories about your dancing experiences and what was the reason for you to start dancing.
You said that now the biggest question mark in your mind is that why do I dance. You further raised up an interesting question whether dancing has an absolute or instrumental value; that whether the absolute value is, rather than develop one’s skills in dancing, to experience something together with other people, in which case dancing would only provide (the best) tool for that? Do we practice our dancing skills just to improve and become better or is there something else behind it?
I have also pondered around these same questions, though maybe from a bit different angle. I have asked myself many times the same question that is now in your mind: why do I dance? Why do I put so much of my time, effort, money, tears, patience, energy and heart into dancing? A short answer would be that because dancing makes me oh so happy, because I love doing it, but that’s not really the ultimate answer, is it? I can’t really give you a proper short answer because, as I see it, the why includes variety of elements that together make dancing such a beautiful and dear thing for me.
As you pointed out, the physical act of dancing releases endorphins and other hormones that give the brain an instant reward. However, in my experience doing physically more demanding activities gives a bigger dose of those hormones in a shorter period of time, thus if this was the thing I was looking for, I would rather spend my time in the gym (the after-workout glow is definitely the motivation to get myself to the gym). Partner dancing, especially the kind that includes close embraced dance hold, does add its own twist to the physical side, though, with a pleasant contact to another human being, and I can’t deny that this wouldn’t be one of the reasons I enjoy dance styles like Kizomba and Zouk. At least for me, being physically close to other people is some kind of a basic necessity of life (
The above mentioned would probably be some of the absolute values of dancing for me, yet another (and more significant) being the satisfaction of self-improvement and a feeling that I’m able to be good at something if I put my effort into it. When it comes to dancing, the improvement factor is easy to keep up, for example, by trying out different dance styles and there sure are plenty of styles out there to try out! Dancing is extremely good for developing body awareness and body control, because you need to use the whole body from head to toe. Learning to gain control over yourself leads surely to some sort of feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment.
These factors I would, however, consider as secondary (yet not irrelevant) reasons for me to dance. I must agree with you that the primary reasons to dance come from the factors that could be regarded to have instrumental value for me. Maybe you have noticed that the most common topic I write about is a dance connection? Well, it’s not a coincidence. I find it absolutely beautiful that two people from different backgrounds, maybe from opposite sides of the world even, who doesn’t know each other at all, can come together and understand each other through dancing. Dancing is some kind of universal language that connects the dancers all around the world.
In addition of having a common language, dance floor also has its own social rules of how to approach or communicate to other people. It can go exactly as you described: dancing provides “an excuse” to connect with other people in a way that it otherwise would be regarded maybe awkward, unnatural or at least unusual in other social situations. If I approached an unknown person outside that dance floor and immediately, without hardly changing a word, would get physically as close as in partner dancing, it would most likely to feel weird and probably be interpreted in a whole different way (taken into account that usually the dance partners are the opposite sex). Similarly, building a friendship with a dancer can include an extra level of connection: the communication you create during your dances.
Not only dancing can be a way of meeting new same-minded people but it can provide a great tool of getting to know the other person different from verbal communication. As I have written before, sometimes it feels that a three-minute dance with someone can tell more about him/her than a two-hour conversation. One reason for this, I think, is that people tend to drop their every-day masks, self-defense shields, roles or whatever you could call them, when dancing and thus more easily reveal their real selves. Finding out about that real self behind the social masks can be a difficult task but that is what at least I’m interested of when getting to know to someone. On the reverse of the coin is that it is easier for me to drop my masks and be totally myself. It is a very liberating feeling.
What comes to factors that concern more of me internally, one significant reason for me to dance is that dancing helps me to be present in the very moment. My mind shuts up. My worries disappear. There is no future, no past, only the moment in hand: there is only that dance. Surely there are other ways to live in the moment (and that is what I strive to do all the time in every situation) but when I dance I don’t need to do any other “tricks” I sometimes need to get my mind away from the past or the future. Also, while dancing I have experienced many moments when I've felt like my mind, body and soul are in harmony with each other and that feels just wonderful!
Last but not least, dancing is definitely a way to express myself. It can provide a way to handle whatever there is going on inside of me; let it be joy, sorrow, excitement or hatred. It is a way for me to explore my artistic side, to get inspired, to be musical and to express whatever the moment brings out from me. Music has always been a big part of my life and I love the feeling of the music being “inside” of me when I dance. I guess the need of self-expression lies in every one of us: some draw, some write, some sing – I dance.
As you can see, the answer was nothing but short, and I could probably go on with the list if I put more thoughts into it. The list will also most likely change during time: even on one day the main motivation to dance is different form the following day. However, I guess the point is that the reason for me to dance is multi-dimensional, though in most cases dancing is a way or a tool to experience something, for example a sense of solidarity with other dancers – something that you described as instrumental value.
Surely, these are just my thoughts and other people must have other reasons for them to dance. I'm very much interested hearing your further thoughts about this. Why do you dance?
I’m looking forward from hearing you again,
Riikka
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